Grow some girl-balls and come out already
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
