I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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