Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
