Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
