i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
