The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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