What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
