No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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