If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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