Someone shit on the floor
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
