Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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