one might say we're banned from that church
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
