Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
