Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
