Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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