so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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