Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
