people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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