was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
