I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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