Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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