Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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