I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
