You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
