Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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