i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
