He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
