bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I am midnight drunk by noon
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
