wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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