I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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