Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
