Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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