Don't you send me to vm
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
