It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
