when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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