absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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