There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize