He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
