I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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