for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
