Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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