just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i was born a porn star she said
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize