wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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