Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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