Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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