I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
