I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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