Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
