and you said cock pushups were impossible
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
