I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
