I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
