I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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