There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
