Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
