i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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