So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
